I was losing my mind.
Being an “understanding” junkie, I was constantly ruminating on the story of me: seeking the deeper meaning, looking for the reasons, making the mistakes…
Without knowing it, I was stuck in a belief that there was something was wrong with me — which was keeping me in a belief that I had to fix something about myself, and that my suffering was a result of constantly “not getting it.”
Looking for what was wrong
was keeping my mind in a panic,
and blocking me from my intuition and creativity.
This grasping onto everything I’d ever been (or thought I’d been) was, I was coming to see, a super clever trick of the ego, convince me to stay stuck.
Then a good friend said to me: “It’s time for you to kill the Buddha.”
My gift is conversation. Intimacy. Vulnerability.
Given that these are also the qualities I value and want to cultivate more of, I decided to move from the impulse constantly arising in me (a gift! a gift!), and commit to sharing my meditation practice for 100 days through videos.
This is the result.
Hang in there, it could get weird.
There’s a saying in Buddhism: “Kill the Buddha, then keep meditating.”
The idea being that anything — even the Buddha / teacher / teachings /spiritual practice — when we cling to IT as the source of guidance, will eventually yield suffering.
Because it’s not the nature of the soul to be in stuckness…
…even in stuckness that feels good, familiar, or comfortable.
The nature of the soul is delight, movement, silence and love.
And since it comes from you, YOU are the gift.